Recent years have brought forward the conversation of people’s pronouns. Apostrophe s, ya know, because we own that shit. After much thought, it seems my pronoun is WE. The stories behind it are universal.
This person was born biologically female. As a small child, there was an internal recognition of different gender roles. Fathers were relatively invisible, gone most of the time. Mothers were omnipresent, cooking meals, cleaning house, and running errands with children in tow. Puberty came late, watching others make boys into boyfriends, wasn’t this person’s way. Boys were friends more often than girls. Mean girls were aplenty and didn’t provide much to be interested in. AIDS was a thing so being asexual seemed smartest. We enjoyed boys in ways that children explore. But we didn’t want babies as babies. It was #metoo in this childhood. There was a man that wouldn’t take responsibility of the child he helped create in early twenties so termination. And there were a number of “it’s complicated” relationships flavored deeply with childhood troubles and parental substance abuse. Late teens and twenties brought big frumpy sweaters, being called sir, and basking in the idea of aptly presenting androgyny. It was all part of the protection strategy to provide a sense of safety. The rearing situation for this person was F’d up enough to recognize the desire and difficulty to break the chains of inertia.
There was a realization of WE when there was a UFO of sorts, an internal mental unidentified flying observation. It didn’t have any words but the brain naturally created some. Why can’t we understand and celebrate all the ways people see the world? And this flash guided to study Anthropology. Not really knowing what it was but feeling how totally right it was. We are the world! As it turn out, it is seemingly impossible to know and feel all the different ways of knowing, the brain generally isn’t trained for such perception. There are cultures that recognize five genders, some that place your individuality on an infinite continuum of time, and more recently in human history there has been the perception that he is better than her. And the capability to put such an experience into words? Preposterous. But holding on to this “IandI”, Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam, WE has become increasingly important in a world expanding in divisiveness.
Enter Buddhism intro class. Oh, hello anatman, you non-self you. Look how you point toward the moon of the middle path and tell me it’s not your finger. We were smitten with you and all the LSD. We think we saw God. Maybe we were god. We were with God and it was everything all melted together in one big glow of us. The interconnectivity of Indra’s net.
The engine of that UFO steering toward study of various cultural perspectives helps us tune back in to the ancient wisdom of we. Countless cultures approach life in this way, with the we as primary. The foundational drive is to take all life into consideration, not solely the I, the she, the him. Amazing beauty can be found when selfish tendencies are set aside.
Enter pseudo professional life, working to make other people’s dreams manifest. They said “we” would do all these awesome things and they were rarely present to participate. “We could do this. We would do that.” And it seemed like it was this girl actually doing the things while they were off dreaming of more stuff we could do. It was me that was we.
Aged now, we talk to others about what we’re gonna do. Realizing there is no I separated from others. What this body has accomplished has not been without other bodies helping it along. There’s no glory for one person without the hard work of many who typically go unrecognized. The patriarch’s idea that they will claim the fame for the efforts of those they oppress can no longer go unchecked. It can no longer be allowed. We have efforted for scraps. Now we are rising to claim our fruits and demand they be given back in thanks and praises to whatever we see as the most high.
It’s the we that’s got to be given more attention. Most people wouldn’t be worried what your pronouns are if concerned individuals weren’t bringing it to the discussion. This discussion makes us take a detour though, from the discussion of how do we create more connections. How are you a reflection of me. Do you see how he is so much like her? Did you see how she manned up to the task?
ShockedT 